What decision are you making about yourself….

What decision are you making about yourself….

When something hard happens – and then keeps happening over and over and over – like trying unsuccessfully to create your family, you tend to make decisions about yourself.

The decisions are formed out of the sad, hurt, and helpless part of ourselves (no matter how hard we try to keep that part at bay). They certainly aren’t the decision we want to make, they simply seem to arise, unbidden.

They sound something like:

~ there must be something wrong with me
~ I must be broken
~ I must not be good enough
~ Maybe I’m not meant to have kids
~ Maybe I don’t deserve what I want
~ God (Universe, Nature, Spirit) doesn’t love me
~ I’m completely unlovable

Core Lie

While these decisions come out of your battle against infertility, chances are they are not unfamiliar thoughts. Chances are your Core Lie is being activated by the unrelenting process of trying to conceive.

Each and every one of us has a Core Lie – a lie that generates out of all the experiences we have growing up and engaging in life. This lie gets strengthened when we get “evidence” in our daily lives that seems to support that lie.

Impact on your Fertility

Both decisions and the Core Lie impact every level of your fertility.

1. Diminish both inspiration and motivation causing you to stop trying for your family.
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2. Activate your body’s fight or flight which stresses the body and all the systems of your body involved in creating a baby.
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3. Take a lot of mental energy to challenge which in turn diminishes the life force available to create and maintain fertility.
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Neutralizing these decisions and your Core Lie

Ironically, it is the hardest things in life that can make these outdated decisions and Core Lies present and visible. When we are simply living our “normal” lives, they pulse in the background creating challenging emotions, but are just under the radar enough that we can’t really identify them and do something about them.

When we have something that challenges us to our core, like infertility, these underlying parts of ourselves get louder and louder and louder. Healing, neutralizing, and releasing them creates a positive effect on your day-to-day life AND your fertility.

Here are steps you can take to get started:

1. Journal – get these feelings out and on paper. This will help you clarify what you are really thinking. Also, once they get out of your head it is easier to ‘see’ the lie woven through them. In other words, they stop feeling so real.
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2. Up your spirituality – connecting with the bigger part of you, your Soul, on a more regular basis will give you skills you can use when the decisions and Core Lie are talking really loudly. In addition, getting your Soul’s perspective helps you understand that while these thoughts feel true, they are not your Truth.
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3. Use body-based tools like EFT (see below) to start to both identify and heal the specific decisions and your Core Lie.

These decisions and particularly the Core Lie can be challenging to shift fully on your own. This is the work that I do – clearing out challenging emotions, decisions, your Core Lie, along with other beliefs that impact your body and your fertility. Take a look at the services page for more information (and watch for a Summer Special happening in June!).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or tapping) is a deceptively simple tool that helps you release emotions, traumas, beliefs patterns, early childhood experiences and more from your mind and body. As you release these, you free up resources within your body to heal your reproductive system.

Due to the intricacies of the mind-body-Soul, there are many ways that internal programming might be impacting your innate fertility.

For more information, including instructions and a diagram, visit my EFT for Fertility Page.

Clearing Statements to start healing based on today’s topic:

Even though it’s really hard to “stay positive”, my brain beats up on me all the time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though I know it isn’t True, there is a part of me that says that I am broken and not worthy, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though I know that feeling better is better for my fertility, I just don’t know what to do with all of these very real thoughts and emotions, and I choose to love and accept myself whether I change this or not.

Positive Statements

I’m learning what is Truth and what is a lie inside my own head
I’m learning how to be kinder to myself
I am offering myself compassion
I am open to making new decisions about myself

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