What does “surrender” really mean anyway?
What does “surrender” really mean anyway?
A common thought in the Mind-Body-Spirit approach to conceiving is that it is helpful to “let go” or “surrender.” I have clients tell me all the time they think they need to surrender because there are so many stories of people “giving up” and then they get pregnant.
Surrendering or letting go is challenging because many people believe they have to “give up” their desire for a baby.
I do teach surrender all the time with my clients, but here’s what I am asking them to surrender:
- The constant monkey mind that is always questioning and asking “What do I do next?”
- The attachment to needing a baby. What I mean by this is when you have been struggling to achieve something you want, you start attaching meaning as to why you aren’t getting what you want. For example, finally having your baby might mean you’ve have finally proved you are enough, or not a failure. This creates mental tension. When you can embody the knowing that no matter what happens – baby or no baby – you are going to be ok, you move your entire physical body into a knowing of safety. This in turn creates the emotional chemistry which allows your cells to be in growth mode which in turn supports your innate fertility.
- The attachment to how the baby comes. This often creates the most fear. I am not asking you to be comfortable with all avenues to creating a child. I am also not asking you to take any steps into any avenues that you aren’t ready to take (or may even need). However, when you place a limitation such as: I refuse to use medical intervention…or…I refuse to do IVF, etc., then you create a substantial amount of mental resistance which takes a lot of energy to deflect. This draws down your available physical resources and creates the emotional chemistry that supports fear mode in your cells.
Attachment creates both emotional suffering and physiological changes within your body which work against your fertility.
Surrender is never asking you to give up your desire, simply your attachment to needing the baby to be happy.
Surrender is an evolution. Start today by becoming aware of what you are attaching to your desire to have a baby and how this baby comes to you. Take those questions softly and gently and see what arises.
If you’d like help, The Being Fertile course is an excellent resource. Learn all about it here.
