Stop chasing the baby – do this instead
Stop chasing the baby – do this instead
Today’s newsletter is a personal one.
I had a significant nerve injury at the end of September last year which has created a lot of pain, suffering, and physical limitations. I did all the things I was supposed to do: rest, ice, chiropractic, PT – and have done all the things I know are additive: energy healing, supplements to reduce inflammation, TENS, to name only a few.
My pain only marginally improved and I entered into what I am now lovingly calling my “black hole time”.
While in that period of darkness, I let go (ok, I was forced to let go). From that quiet space, I had an ah-ha. I realized that I was chasing the resolution to my pain. Hard. I NEEDED this to get better. It’s like everything I know about creating completely went out the window.
It’s not that I was making bad choices, it was the place I was making those choices from.
Those choices were coming out of yearning. Forcing. Striving. Needing. Suffering. Fear. Worry. Panic. Fortune telling (if this doesn’t get better then everything else that I want will never come to be). These were the being states that were fueling my doing.
I temporarily forgot that I was in relationship with my body and in relationship with the Divine. I temporarily believed that my humanness was solely responsible for MAKING the healing happen. I slipped back into the old self that learned that DOING and action and fighting for what you want is the way to MAKE something happen. I went after EVERY tool and technique that might be helpful for someone who was experiencing my symptoms. I spent more head time in the “is it working now? Did this work like it was supposed to?” than in allowing the tool or technique the time and space to actually work before deciding it wasn’t working and moving on to something else.
No wonder the pain didn’t get any better.
While sharing all of this, it is important for me also to say that I hold no judgment of myself for this process – everything is unfolding around this experience in a beautiful way.
What is even clearer to me now more than ever is that chasing never works; action for actions sake may yield a result occasionally, but it is the hard road. It is the road of a lot of pain and suffering.
The funny thing is, is that most of us are conditioned to believe that pain and suffering mean we are on the road to what we want; they are the emotional guardrails that guide our decisions. We are conditioned to act from our humanness, some combination of lizard brain and frontal cortex leading the charge.
Emerging from the “black hole time” required a different approach. A letting go. A relaxing back into what I know deep down in every cell of my body: I’m both of the Universe and in partnership with the Divine. Slowing down. Restarting a meditation practice that gave me permission to be right where I am; nothing had to change in this moment other than giving myself the gift of peace, right now, without anything changing.
From there, I was able to hear the next inspired step (a medical procedure) which I had been resisting. Today, post procedure and from that place of non-resistance, I did a stretch that I’ve been doing as part of my PT program for months. Instead of just going through the motions, I connected with my body, and in the deepest part of the stretch I was overwhelmed with grief. Sitting up, I cried, tapped, and allowed the emotions to move through me. My pain is significantly decreased.
Chasing does not work.
Moving back into relationship with Divinity, our bodies, and our deepest selves is the key to the being state which gives rise to the inspired action that will take us on the path we most desire. Along the way, the side effects are more joy, peace, and freedom.
While my story is about an injury, every single aspect mirrors your path to creating the fertility for the baby you want.
Chasing does not create fertility, in fact it lays down layers of resistance within your body which make it harder for your body to conceive.
Your job isn’t to MAKE the baby. Your job is to create the internal fertility environment that allows your body to receive your baby.
Are you chasing instead of receiving? Ready to make that shift but know you need help to release the old patterning? Let’s talk. I have an abundance of ways to partner together to help create that shift for you. Set up a time on my calendar here.
