Dealing with Disappointment (Steps 2 and 3)

In the last newsletter, I started sharing the steps I give my clients who are dealing with disappointment at any level (a negative pregnancy test, a missed cycle that pushes out your next test or procedure, etc.)

Disappointment or fear of disappointment can cause you to stop your journey to creating your child or spin you into helplessness or depression (both of which can impact your fertility).

If you missed the first step, you can read it on the blog here.

Here are the next 2 steps in the process:

Second step in dealing with disappointment: Release the meanings you’ve created about the disappointment.

As humans, we really really really like to create meaning.  We like to know why (mostly so whatever hurts doesn’t happen again).

The problem is, typically we choose to create a meaning that has farther reaching implications than simply this particular disappointment.  Meanings like: I must not have done enough, I have to do more, I must not be good enough, maybe I’m not deserving enough, maybe this is payment for something ‘bad’ I did before, etc.

The bigger the narrative that you put together, the harder it is to get “out from under” it; the narrative keeps growing as if it had a life of its own. Pretty soon, it is hard to remember what is actual truth and is something that you have created to try to find and answer or feel better.

Question: Where are you creating a narrative that doesn’t support you (or the Truth)? What are you willing to release?

The third step in dealing with disappointment is: Forgive yourself

I know that this sounds very “self-help-y”, but, it’s an extremely powerful choice.

When you stay in the mental place of judging yourself for your role in the disappointment, you simply continue to keep the disappointment front and center. It keeps the disappointment in the present moment and very real.  It also tends to make the decisions about the meaning of the disappointment much harder to release.

Question: What do you need to give yourself to release the judgment you’re holding against yourself regarding the situation that created the disappointment? 

These steps rapidly become more and more intense.  If you’d like some help, reach out and schedule some time on my calendar and we can determine what type of service package would best suit your needs.