Jennifer Bloome

Are You Adding or Subtracting to Your Life Essence / Fertility?

I received a beautiful e-mail from a client who used the Anji meditations to help with conceiving and a healthy pregnancy. During our e-mail conversation, she shared this comment with me.

“It’s amazing what happened when I started to believe in myself again and trust my body and relax. I used to get upset when my OB told me to ‘relax, it will happen.’ Relaxing really was what I needed.”

If only doctors were able to explain this in a deep and complete enough way, so many more people could be helped with that information! However, without an understanding of why it’s so important to incorporate relaxation, the comment “just relax” comes off sounding like a dismissal of your experience, or how you are feeling inside is unimportant or easy to change.

Mind-Body-Soul medicine can both explain the impact of how you feel on your fertility and give you the tools to shift. In other words, how you are feeling is directly related to your fertility, and therefore, vitally important to consider. (It isn’t just how you are feeling BECAUSE of your fertility challenges, but how your emotions and beliefs impacted your fertility BEFORE you wanted to conceive.)

Let me give you a more in-depth explanation from the point of view of one form of Mind-Body-Soul medicine, Chinese Medicine.

From a Chinese Medicine perspective, we are all born with a life essence, which is stored and expressed as Kidney energy. The activity we do during our daily lives either adds to that bank of energy or removes it.

The goal is to have many more activities that add to the bank. When we constantly remove — through stress, anxiety, fear, busyness, etc. — we end up dipping into our basic life essence, which is hard on the body and the basic life processes we need to work — including reproduction.

How you feel is a perfect indicator of whether you are adding or subtracting from this life essence.

When your life is full of emotion that doesn’t feel good like perfectionism, fear, worry, shame, guilt, stress, hopelessness, and anger, you are not adding to the bank of life essence, you are withdrawing from it. People come into this life with all different amounts in their banks. However, with enough ongoing drains, no matter what you came in with, you will start draining that basic amount.

When your life and feelings tend more towards neutrality, hope, calm, peace, happiness, you are adding to your life essence.

What is even more interesting about all of this is that in Chinese Medicine, Kidney is responsible for reproduction. This gives you a direct correlation between how you feel and your ability to conceive.

For the next week, I ask you to slip into the role of observer: are you adding or subtracting from your life essence?

Knowing When to Shift Into Do-Ing

One of the most challenging aspects of taking a Be-ing approach to your fertility is knowing when to shift into Do-ing. To be able to make this shift easily, you must first understand about the energy you carry within your body.

The state of Be-ing is governed by the feminine aspect of our divinity.

Each of us is a blend of divine feminine and divine masculine. Typically, the feminine is about receiving and the masculine is about doing. But I want to share something deeper about the feminine.

The feminine carries both Yin and Yang energy.

Yin is the more traditional feminine that we think of — nurturing, gentle, allowing, being. This is the uterus, the womb that receives the embryo, and gestates the baby.

This same womb also births the baby. In Divine right timing. This is the Yang feminine energy. The part of you that will know when it is right timing for you to act.

To know when to shift from Be-ing to Do-ing, you must:

Trust you have both halves of the feminine within you. We have learned to listen to everything that is outside of ourselves: deadlines, other people’s timelines, how we think life should unfold. We have forgotten the art of listening to ourselves.
Remember Be-ing IS a Do-ing step. Allowing yourself the peace, time, and quiet is as much of an action step as taking hormones or going to yoga. Our culture has cast this type of action as at best “relaxing” or at worst, “lazy.”
Build your connection with your inner being. The more you build this connection, the more you will hear its soft voice from within.
Connect first. If you have a decision to make, connect with your inner being, your inner divinity. Then think about the decision. How does your body feel? What messages are you getting?
Trust your intuitive hits — both fertility and non-fertility related. The more you listen and act, the more you will hear.
If something doesn’t feel right, stop.

Most importantly, when you act, do it from your whole being. Meaning, don’t do it but also worry about whether it is the right time, or if you are going to make a mistake, etc. Be in complete alignment with whatever decision you make and every action you take.

The more you practice, the easier it will become to know when it is time to transition between Be-ing and Do-ing.

Age and Fertility

Last week I had an e-mail from a client who had stumbled across an article online in which several reproductive endocrinologists were detailing the dwindling chances of conceiving in your 30’s and 40’s.

Is Your Infertility Your Fault?

A very common reaction when you begin learning how your thoughts and emotions affect your fertility is to say, “You mean you’re telling me it’s all my fault? It’s all my fault that my health or my life isn’t the way I want?”

Are Someone Else’s Beliefs Stagnating Your Fertility?

In order for healthy conception to occur, your mind~body~spirit system must be open, communicating, and supportive of your intellectual desire to conceive. Each aspect of the system can place ‘stop signs’ to conception. Now, that’s anthropomorphizing in a big way… and yet, our mind~body~spirit system is a very alive system that has many moving parts, all working together to bring your heart’s/soul’s desire to physical existence.